Crumbling Teeth

"I felt them rattling and rustling around in my mouth.

My back teeth and side teeth were crumbling into my hand. 

As they fell, I started to choke because of how many there were.

I then looked into the mirror and smiled and my face and head were swollen with a scrunched up mouth.

As I smiled, I noticed that I only had 4 top teeth left and just a couple of bottom ones.

I remember thinking that I cant eat crisps or steak again.

I went to the dentist and they showed me some false teeth that had nails sticking out to stick into my gum.

When I left I didn't know where I was.

I went to the dock where several dingy's were floating around. I decided to try my look and use one to get home on the murky stream.

When I approached the stream it disappeared and all that was left was wet mud and lots of it."

Dreaming that your teeth fall out, or rot away may be rooted to your fear of being embarrassed. The dream is an exaggeration of your worries.

The dream may also symbolize powerlessness. Perhaps you are living through a situation where you have little influence or control. Perhaps the dream is an indication that you need to be more assertive.

This makes a lot of sense since I'm taking a big step in life and starting a youngsters drama group. I've never really been a leader, more a follower so HUGE changes ahead.

The murky waters and feeling lost is because I suffer with depression. My child has ADHD, plus a genetic chromosome disorder. We are struggling with his behaviour at the moment and yesterday was a day of meltdown after meltdown. I just wanted to hide and cry because I just felt so useless.

Main dream meaning:

# Feeling embarrassed

# Be more assertive

# Feeling Sad

# Feeling Lost

Gemma Cheetham x

Vertigo

"I was in Drama class. We were stood in a semi-circle, saying who we were and our profession. I was the last one to go but the tutor skipped me and when I tried to speak up more people arrived so I was snuffed out.

 It was break time. I went to go downstairs but the stairs were missing. I started to climb down the wall and noticed that they were all rotten, decayed with mud splats and peeling paint. I heard screams coming from inside the walls. There were some hooks on the wall and every time one fell out I heard a man shouting in despair.

 I made it to my next class but was 1 hour late and I started to shout at the tutor. 

We then left into a crowded airport. No seats were available. There were separate rooms with private seating for the rich folk but lower class people had stole them. One barricaded the door with a super morbidly obese woman and could see all her belly fat spreading across the glass door window. 

People were sitting on the escalators going up and down whilst they waited to escape.

I went back into a shopping centre and noticed the lifts were not working so people were been lowered down levels with a rope and a seat made of leather.

When I turned around I could see some stairs but the sides were made of glass so I knew unless I  crawled down them I wouldn't be able to use them. I went to the edge of a rail and closed my eyes so that I didn't look down and then I was on the bottom leave.

There was a balloon lift that could take 1 person at a time to the next level. As it went up I crawled my way past it and ran to the nearest exit.

I was then outside in a busy holiday place by the beach and sea. I went inside the cafe with Jake* but he got up and ran outside and as I ran after him I stood in the doorway and typed something.

In front of me a giant American monument appeared singing the 'Star spangled banner' tune. I typed something else and a British monument appeared singing 'god save the queen'.

There was an explosion plume but no sound and they disappeared.

I headed to the beach but as I came to walk on the pier I was stopped by a man that was shouting to a crowd of people "do not panic"

As I looked on the pier, people were running screaming and the sea was wild and murky, the clouds were grey and the winds were picking up" 

Never in my life am I eating cream before bed. 

I don't know about anybody else but I have noticed my dreams are more vivid if I have any type of dairy before bed. 

Cheese is the worst, gives me nightmares.

Some of this dream I have no idea what it was about but I no what a few points are.

Lifts, stairways etc. are my fears of heights. 

I suffer with severe vertigo and get dizzy just looking at a stairwell.

The not been heard and people screaming shows that I want to speak up but I can never quite get my word in. I always want to speak but find it better to communicate via a computer.

I must be feeling down with the colour and motion of the waves and skies.

Been surrounded by loads of people is showing I'm claustrophobic. I feel I get lost in a crowd very easily because I'm quiet.

The fat woman on the window was something silly.

 I simply had a slice of cream cake before bed and instantly jumped on the scales thinking I had gained about 1 stone which is why i saw a morbidly obese woman.

Main dream meanings

> Wanting to be heard

> Feeling down

> Feeling scared

> Body image issues

Gemma Cheetham x

Maze

"I was lost in a maze that was floating in the sky and I was been chased.

I jump off trying to escape.

I flap my wings but as I start flying I loose power and begin to fall through several floors of a burnt out old mansion.

As I hit the last level, I fell through the fog and silently screamed."

So where to start.....

Well I've just started a new venture and joined a management team for a community drama group so maybe I'm afraid of failing and loosing my way...

Could also be diet related.
Since 2009 ive lost nearly 5st.
I feel lighter, which could be the floating, but I know that if a eat crap I will binge and gain weight. That could be the falling.

Silently screaming is easy peasy.
I always dream of Silently screaming when I feel that I'm been ignored verbally.

The fog and maze definatly suggests I've lost my way or that I'm confused about a situation.

Main dream meaning

● Feeling confused, lost

● Feeling as though no one is listening

● Afraid of failing

● Trying to escape from something

Gemma Cheetham x

Pregnancy

"I had twin girls hope and faith

I hadn't  told Phantom* about them. I went to the shop and when I got back in I fell asleep. I woke up but the babies were missing. I asked Phantom* but says don't no an why didn't I tell him I'd had a baby. I said I've had twin girls which means we have x2 boys x2 girls. I went looking and saw Phantom* had tidied where they were laid. 

I found them shoved in toy box. Phantom* thought they were dolls. They were dead so I had to give them mouth to mouth 

I brought them back an went out shopping with two prams.

We bumped into some vampires who turned us all in to vampires an I was drinking blood."

Name changes*

So back to reality....

Let's get one thing straight here.

Dreaming of pregnancy doesn't necessarily mean that your pregnant. In fact your probably 70% not pregnant.
It could be a sign of hoping to be pregnant or wanting to be pregnant or scared of being pregnant.
It's also a sign that some aspect of your life is growing and developing.

Mine is definatly that I'm terrified of getting pregnant and that my babies die again. 

I'd love to have a little girl but with the risk of passing on a potentially fatal chromosome disoder I figured it is for the best that we don't have more kids.

I already have 2 beautiful healthy boys who are my world. 

Some people don't have that so I count my lucky stars I have them.

Dreaming of Vampires has several meanings.
In my case, I tend to dream about them when I feel physically or emotionally drained from continuous appointments and/or illness . This is portrayed from the vampires drinking my blood.

Main dream meanings

● Feeling emotionally and physically drained.

● Fear of falling pregnant

● Fear of babies dying

Gemma Cheetham x

Frozen

"There was ice lots of ice and I was trying to fight these tiny creature's before they bit me. I go outside and everybody is frozen like time is standing still."

Even though I had little creatures coming at me, biting me, I think this was still an interpretation as a happy dream because I wanted to freeze the moment forever.

Maybe trying to stop the creatures biting me is a metaphor of trying to stop people attacking or feel like I'm been attacked.....but then it wouldn't make sense as to why I would want to freeze that moment.....

I also think I went to sleep feeling  very cold as it was a very icy dream.

Gemma Cheetham x

Desire

*WARNING INTIMATE WRITING*

"I was going to see Craig* and Lacy* but Lacy* got very obsessive and paranoid that Craig* was leaving her for me. 

So she got a meat cleaver and sliced Craig* across the chest with it. 

Then they started chasing each other with meat cleavers so I ran upstairs to hide. 

Next thing I know I'm downstairs looking around wondering why it was silent. I go upstairs and see them having a 3 way with my corpse.

I then flash to been in Bath an Phantom* is going down on me but then goes to wash his mouth out. 

A pipe had come out the wall from a water fountain and water was leaking so Phantom* fixed it.

I had yellow scum on my legs I was trying to wash off. 

I was then checking into prison where Craig* and Lacy* was and saw them sat at a table. 

Craig* started walking towards a garden so I used my pass key an we sat on a bench an just talked an I was asking if he was ok when some women I knew from school started ganging up on me saying Lacy* had sent them. 

I told them to stay out of it an stay away from Lacy*. 

They got all up in my face so I left to find Lacy*.

I reassured Lacy* that feelings were just friendly and she was more than welcome to come sit with us.

Craig* started having a go at Lacy* and told her to back off and that he didn't want to do it anymore.  

Lacy* was then in the prison kitchen with me with a faulty boiler and she was telling me to stand in front of it after she had filled it up water so that the hot metal would hit me as it exploded."

* NAME CHANGES 

As you can see my dreams can be a teensy bit disturbing.

Me and my partner haven't been intamite for a while because I have massive body image issues.
I constantly feel like I look like shit and feel discusting because of how I have ruined my body from yo yo dieting.

The water was murky so again sadness from body image issues.

I feel sometimes jealous girlfriends get bitter when I talk to their partners.

I will put one thing straight. If you think i "fancy" "like" your partner etc. then you be wrong.
I just dont get on with a lot of women and feel more comfortable talking to men because im far from a femanine character.

This particular couple the girlfriend seemed like a nut job to me and I was scared for his safety at times.
I get the feeling that craig needs to let off some steam and talk to somebody so that's the bench scenario.

The girls from school, I have dreams about these when I'm scared.
They made my life shit from day one of me going their and I ended up trying to end my life on one occasion because no one would help me. Even the head teacher slammed the door on my face.

Eventually my mum took me out of school and I started college early.

So main points of the dream...

● Sex withdrawal

● Body image issues

● Fear

Gemma Cheetham x

Stage Fright

" I could control my dreams.

I closed my eyes and imagined walking through a door and I'm on a beach that's lovely and sunny but then it starts to rain and I'm running on sand but sinking into it and sky is dark, the water mucky and everything is disintegrating around me.

I see a house been torn up  and strewn across the place and Im stood opening my eyes, telling myself now was the time to wake up.

 

Everything suddenly went white and I awoke back to reality very shaky and palpations.

I then fell back to sleep and I was going on stage but I was in a wheel chair. 

When I got there the costume designers were saying I was too fat to wear anything so I had to make do with my modern dress up. 

I drove the wheelchair to bottom of a steep staircase and could see a full house through the gap in the curtain. 

Above the staircase the ceiling was painted like a sunny day. 

I try to climb the stairs but fall back down them as I slip on some artwork but as I fall I feel like I'm floating and land on my two feet an slouch into my chair and instead I go round back of audience squeezing through tight spaces."

Anxiety is a big part of my life as you can probably tell with a lot of my Dreamscape blog, from past and future posts.

The nice sunny beach scenery turning into a dark gloomy situation where I'm trying to run but sinking into the sand shows that maybe I was peaceful but then something upset me and made me feel down and teary and angry. 

Water particularly shows emotion. when the waters are calm and clear or light coloured then this is a peaceful happy sign.  Dark, murky, muddy water with crashing waves or drowing and also thunder storms with heavy rain shows some serious emotion.

I get these dreams alot because i hate to cry infront of people and hold my emotions in. My self conscious lets my emotions out whilst im sleeping, otherwise head go BOOM!

I work as an actress and even though I enjoy what I do, I still get nervous when it's my time to go on stage.
The second part of the dream mentions about costumes fitting. This is a big self image confidence issue I have.
I have suffered with eating disorders in the past and I'm always scared I won't fit into my costumes or that I won't look as good as the other members of the cast.

The "falling on the artwork" is showing that I feel I'm failing at the artistic side of performing arts.
Seeing the sunny scenery, up the stairs, then falling by floating and landing on my feet is reassuring me that even if I fail at something I feel that I'm good at, I will land back on my feet or someone will be there to catch me, which is why I sat back in the wheelchair.

Gemma Cheetham x